A reflection of 2016.

It is only a few more hours before a new year is going to start. I still remember that I told my Ex, before we know, we are going into 2017 very quickly. He agreed. This time around is different because we are no longer entering 2017 together as a couple. But just two individuals.

When I started 2016, I thought that I would focus more on my career compared to my relationship. As my relationship was quite steady, especially looking forward to March for my trip to Melbourne with him. Unfortunately, things got rocky and bad that the relationship ended in July.

I remember I wrote a blog post that I’m changing myself into a better person. Going to lose weight and be more healthy, eat right, read more and exercise more. Have I achieved what I said I would? Well, sort of. I lost 5kg, but after my trip to Myanmar and Vietnam, I put it back on. Eating right, I think I did when I’m back here in Singapore. Read a lot more books than I’ve imaged and I exercise at least 3 times a week.

So yes, I’m going to pat myself on the back and applaud myself for coming this far.

Since July till now, many said that I’ve changed. I felt that I did change a whole lot. Within this year, I was lucky to have travelled to 4 different countries, 2 of which was with him (Melbourne¬†& Penang), while the other 2 was me visiting friends (Myanmar and Vietnam). For Myanmar and Vietnam trip was a YOLO trip for me. For both trips, I booked my tickets 2 weeks before I flew from Singapore. Didn’t have anything plan in mind, no itinerary but just exchange currency and there I went.

For both of this trips, I learnt myself better. I realised that I can learn to let things go. Just go with the flow and just let things flow naturally. Things will just unfold itself and let things be. Learn to take things when it comes and just live for once. Besides that, I’m glad to have met new friends in my life and get to experience their culture. I’m really glad that I went on this 2 trips.

Now, I’m starting to be more vocal and straightforward in what I want. I’m starting to tell people “no” even to my parents. My mum is not happy about it and has made comments to my colleagues that I’m no longer that obliging and I’ve changed. Well, I turning 26 very soon and I think is time to take things in my own hand and start to improve myself. No more bull shit and no more wasting of time.

I’m fortunate to have a good bunch of friends who were next to me when I’m at my downs. They were constantly supporting me to be better and seen me progress. I wish to thank them with all my heart in how far they have helped me to progress.

After my Vietnam trip, I felt a lot better. So much more relax, happier and most importantly I can sleep very well. Since July till before I left for my Vietnam trip, I had sleepless nights, or just waking up in the middle of the night. Now, I sleep through soundly and I finally am able to say that he no longer haunts me in my dreams anymore. I shared this good piece of news with my friends, they were glad. They said that “you have finally let go”.

Till today, I’m still not able to bring myself to look at his FB or Instagram page. I’m afraid that memories will start flooding in and put into a position where I will start to think wildly. However, part of me knows that this chapter of my life has closed and part of me has moved on and finding new chapters in my life. There are still guys out there who treats me right and well. Hopefully, there might be a day that I will meet the right one to want to spend my life with.

All I can say is that I don’t regret to once be in a relationship with a guy I once loved. He has taught me so much and loved me so much. Without him breaking my heart, I wouldn’t be able to find myself in a whole new world out there. I wouldn’t be who I am today in sticking up for myself and being a lot more opinionated. I don’t regret in whatever I did, the past is a lesson learnt. I hope to bring these lessons into 2017 with me and remember not to make them again.

Here’s to 2017 and hopefully, I can make a good year out it.

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