Finally travelled to Myanmar in the hope to get recharge and do some thinking. Thanks to a lovely college friend of mine, she brought me around Yangon and Mandalay. Experienced a different lifestyle compared to Singapore. Had an eye-opening journey there. Along the way, it became a business trip for me even though I did not want to. Therefore, at the end of the day, I felt exhausted and drain from this trip.
Of course, there are highs on this trip. I’ve met 2 new friends, they have shown me a good time there. Never had I have so much laughter since my break up. He managed to crack me up so bad that I cried and kept getting stomach cramps. For that, I’m thankful for him. While the other, I’ve to thank him for giving me a chance to do some things that I never thought of doing. Besides that, I’ve learnt quite a lot of wisdom and career knowledge.
While on the trip, I’ve confided my friend in the situation I am currently in. Wanting to let him go so badly but I know I haven’t. That’s when she said that I might be in self-denial. She has asked me so many questions that made me doubt myself. One of her questions hit me:
Have you given your best shot at getting him back? You obviously still love him and you are in self-denial.
After this trip, I’ve evaluated and learnt numerous things. However, never did I expect me to waver this much just by this question. This question has established the fact that I am still not over him. I need to figure this out because by wavering implies that I have not chosen a concrete answer to my problem; that is whether to chase him back or end it once and for all to just move on. All along I thought that I was moving on. This question has given me that opportunity to admit that there was still hope. But there is no more hope, no more buts, no more us. The only decision I can make for myself now is to end it once and for all and move on. I cannot go back to a person who has left me twice and treated me with little respect.
In one way or another, this trip has taught me so much. I’m very glad to get out of this small island to catch a breather. It has given me a new perspective on life and how fortunate am I to be where I am at. For this, I need to appreciate what I have and stop taking the things around me for granted. I’m just a small little person in this world, there’s still so many things to explore and adventures to take up upon.