Humans are greedy by nature, it’s one of our greatest sins whether you believe it or not. There is one common denominator that we humans are constantly pursuing for, be it whether you are rich or poor, child or adult, western or Chinese etc… That common goal we are chasing for is :” Happiness”.

Having said that, so my question is:

What is Happiness?

What encumbers Happiness?

Happiness this word is simple and easy to understand, but that’s only understanding and comprehending the definition of Happiness. When one were to dwell in deeper, what truly makes them Happy, this word has amplified into something larger than a word. Instead, it’s now a question of how to achieve Happiness. It brings one into another dimension, tickling one’s thought process in how to attain the Happiness we human wants.

Today afternoon, while I was swimming in my apartments shared pool, there were to several children swimming too. The children were chatting, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. They were smiling so brightly, as a young adult you can truly see their happiness just glowing off them.

While sitting by a pool, was a dad and his daughter chit chatting with each other. They were chatting so carefree, no worries, just another relax day. I can tell that it is their quiet moment together just enjoying each other’s company too. They were happy too.

Everyone has a different perspective of what makes them happy. From a child to a parent, each of them has their own definition of what makes them happy.

I thought to myself, so what makes me happy? My previous happiness was all about my ex. His smile, his company, his annoyance was my happiness. My joy that I look forward to every day. Ever since then, I’ve lost my pillar of strength and my source of happiness. Till today, I’ve not truly found what makes me happy. Rather I’m only finding things to distract myself to fill the gaps of him that he once existed in my life.

My friend told me that as I spent so much time with my ex, this broke up has left me with a void. Making me like a lost child now, not knowing what to do. Is as if I’m a child who has lost her mama and left to fend for her own sake when she’s outside. When I left my ex, I wrote him a letter saying that I no longer want to be in this unhappy state with him. I want to be happy again. It’s already 1 month since the breakup, but somehow I still don’t know why don’t I feel happy. Part of me feel miserable for my ex breaking up with me, but part of me knows that’s the right choice. Sometimes the right choice in life doesn’t necessarily give you happiness at first.

I’m still not able to find my new source of happiness, my pillar of strength yet. But I do know there are certain joys that I’m creating in my life that makes me happy for now. That little spark of hope in my life now, that is:

  1. A roof over my head, a place to sleep and having the ability to afford 3 meals a day
  2. A kind, gracious and ever-loving mum of mine. We don’t show much affection through our actions, but each of us knows that we are truly concern about each other
  3. A few tight knitted close friends who always stick through thick and thin with me
  4. Trying to achieve a healthy body and a kinder soul, to make me a better person
  5. Reading to broaden my mind and perspective, hope to read more
  6. Learn new things ( don’t know what yet, will figure out)

However, I hope that this list of mine will grow longer, making my life richer and full of happiness. Afterall, people change with age and our thinking will start to change along with it too.

So have you thought about what makes you happy? If not maybe it’s time to think it through, it’s never too late.