Since my break up, friends has been so ever supporting to me. Giving me words of encouragement! One of my friends woke me up again:

“The LZHT i know, Fucking strong, Aint gonna let weakass man cramp her style! We’re made of stronger than loser ass boys!” 

The most important words of encourage i’ve gotten since my split was from my ever doting mum. I came from a broken family. As a child i’ve witness heart wrenching actions that my dad to my mum. Ugly divorce, revolting actions and till today i’m still having to face these issues every single day of my life due to my family business. My mum had been through a hardous life that no one can ever understand besides herself. She has been giving me lots of advice and is perpetually  concern of my well-being. As a child, she has given me nothing but golden opportunities to shine. Tried to give me everything I needed for a better life ahead. Such a strong, confident lady that refuses to fall when part of life destroyed her. Till today, she has shown no weakness to anyone and not even to me or my family. Her goal is to see me stand back up on my feet again, be strong for myself and be strong for her too. Ultimately, I hope that I do hope to be like her, to be as strong and confident as her.

All these advices, the only question i asked myself is :

What happened to me? How did I fall so hard in love with a guy and lost the true essence of myself? 

Cried so badly on the way home (hopefully people on the public transport don’t think I’m crazy), was physically so drained and hungry. Went home for a simple dinner and watched How to Be Single. A wonderful show for ladies who has just gotten their hearts shattered.

One good news, maybe I was really physically drained and drank some tea to help me sleep better. I have finally slept through the whole night without disturbance, woke up at 7.30am! Not at some odd wee hours. Hopefully, this will continue.

Also, yesterday I saw a facebook post and he was tagged in it. I’m glad that at least he was with some friends having a good time. Somehow, this helps me to validate that he is alive and kicking. Most importantly and hopefully, to share our break up with his friends. Only then, he can move on from us.

Advertisements